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In our Parting Shot series, readers share their experiences of expat life in Hong Kong. Here, LANA FED shares the story of her journey to achieve strength and balance.
Settling in
I like learning. Therefore, as soon as I moved here, having three years off of work ahead, I signed up to some classes. It was like entering a buffet in an all-inclusive hotel after a diet. There were so many things I wanted to do! Tai chi, dancing, singing, painting, meditating, yoga. Somehow instead I signed up for Mandarin, psychology and tennis…
It’s been just over a year since we moved to Asia. I still haven’t done any of those activities on my initial wish list. Because, while learning new things can be great, sometimes it’s necessary to unlearn. To unlearn the goal-setting, achievement-focused mindset. To unlearn measuring our time in value-added terms. To unlearn prioritising perceived usefulness over simple enjoyment.
Snapping out of old habits
I found it so hard to snap out of these habits that only now, for the first time, I finally have no classes booked. For so long I just wanted to relax and give myself time to really understand what I want to do, and focus on activities that bring me joy. But I couldn’t. I was almost addicted to getting grades, certificates and evaluating my time in terms of efficiency and external validation. I couldn’t allow myself to just slow down and do what I like, for fun, with no purpose.
It took all this time to unlearn. And it isn’t easy! It’s like telling yourself not to pick at a scab. I asked myself: what would I regret the most when I leave this place? And the simple answer is: not giving myself some peace and quiet. Maybe, sometimes, when you don’t know what you want, you can start with defining what you definitely don’t want.
What I realised is that I don’t want to be stressed. I want to feel strong and balanced. The pandemic took everything out of me. Mentally and physically. I just didn’t quite feel like myself. I felt displaced. I made finding a way back to myself my priority. The trouble is – it’s not always obvious how to do that, especially when you don’t have a structure. I tried to create that structure but went a bit overboard with planning and learning new things.
New beginnings
So what did I do in the past year? I satisfied my curiosity by taking a peek at a new language. I discovered a new sport I enjoy. I had the unplanned opportunity to travel to places that used to be my home, which showed me a new perspective. I challenged myself with new mediums and techniques in my art practice. I made a lot of new friends. I made a new home in a new country. I unlearned.
Tell us a tale and receive $1,500
Here’s your chance to get published – and make some money at the same time. We’re looking for 500-word written contributions on any funny, poignant, practical or even controversial topic that touches on expat life in Hong Kong. Simply email your stories in a Word document to editor@expatliving.hk and we’ll consider them for inclusion in an upcoming issue.
This article first appeared in the Spring 2023 issue of Expat Living magazine. Subscribe now so you never miss an issue.
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